Sunday, January 4, 2009

it's about time x 2

1st thing: too short played the thrasher party
and i've always wanted the photo with
him to go with my photo of me and lemme.
he was mid greenroom players ball when
what appeared to be a homeless man(me) approached
him asking for a photo. 18yrs later. poof.



2nd on the way to the show jasin and i where kind of
racing from light to light. or maybe just massaging the throttle.
we were in the tenderloin... the roads are extra crusty with cum,
body oil, crushed dreams and maybe a little SpF 69. well it started to mist
or almost rain and i turned the corner and did a gay little rap on the throttle
that sent me sideways flatrack for a few feet so i gave it more gas and was going backwards but peeling out then i layed(laid) it down sliding next to my bike
and sparks everywhere and the carhart jacket turned into a turtle shell. wet jeans
hole in pocket and a female crackhead laughing at the whole scene. she was
instantly reprimanded. broke clutch lever, license plate bracket,
broke tail light, dented tank
mangled primary.
total ego enhancement....... priceless.

i really wish i had the night photo of it laying on its side
mid tenderloin base heads everywhere. then santa rolled by in a wheelchair.
this photo sucks(see below) rode the bike home.

24 comments:

STANDARDJOSH said...

1. TOO SHORT IS THE SHIT

2. FALLING IS PART OF THE GAME....

SURVIVING....RULES!

3. HAVING MASS PEOPLE TO WITNESS IT...

PRICLESS!!!

mindpill said...

nice... write more....

Gnar Jen said...

What a fucked/amazing story....
am dying now to see this photo with Lemmy.

Anonymous said...

I'm just glad Santa showed up.

Anonymous said...

frame straight, no brkn bones or mangled body parts, good work, I worked that move in the lincoln tunnel in the late 80's on the old 81 low rider, sparks are fun to watch as you are going in slow motion, the sound of the metal on asphalt will not be soon forgotten only one sound like that, glad it turned out ok

Neil said...

Closed primary rules.

shiftace said...

That shit'll buff out

Thomas said...

Too short, falling, tenderloin.

All I got from that was a bunch of base-heads witnessing the effects of being a badass.

Sounds like a party.

Davidabl said...

You've been reading Jack Kerouac,Bill Burroughs &
Bukowski ?

MP Roget said...

Did anyone spare change you during the post crash de-briefing? Always a favorite SF pastime.

wendell said...

I hear you can get your shit delivered these days....no need to cruise the loin any longer. Silly goose

shiftace said...

after the crash: cusswords let em roll mutha fucka shit goddamn asshole.

Liz said...

Finally, the photo i have been waiting for...

Jet City Jughead said...

Glad you're OK Max and sorry about your rubber dick.

LUCKY said...

Been there rollin across the asphalt crossways flat trackin scared if yer gonna make it then wondering if anyone saw ya!

AKIRA said...

OMG wiz too $hort!!!!!! but yea yall r reppin Oakland!!!!
hi max it was nice to meet u in yokohama!!!! n did u get sum pix of u n sarah,jasin? i tried to send it......
anywayz have a good 1 -Kyoko

max schaaf said...

Akira-
hi. i didn't get the photos.
please try again if you can.
super nice to meet you too.
hope to see you again. max

AKIRA said...

sure! but i might i took wrong addy?! i sent to the "4qconditioning@live.com" .......
well....can i have urs add? if u dont mind or is that right addy?

abes.f. said...

holy shit.

best too $hort line?

"BIIITCH, what'ta you smokin!? a big fat dick comin' from east oakland!"

The Vintagent said...

Maxie, I did the same damn thing in the 'loin with a Brough Superior in '90... no lie. Spinning like a turtle, me and a priceless motorcycle. My buddy on a Norton was laughing so hard he fell over; deserved it, but I thought it was pretty funny too...
I still got yer xmas present, amigo.

Kenny Bloggins said...

Quite an elaborate cover up for cruising the loin for trannies...

Great_Escape said...

Remember it was a left turn that got me too.

max schaaf said...

oh yep.
i dont think you
had the wet asphalt
workin for you.
happy new year forest.

Rigid Hips Stockholm said...

Swedish Bob Geldof sent the Bike Aid today...