Wednesday, June 24, 2020

June 24, 2020 nothing for sale today

   What a strange time in our world. A pandemic sweeping the nation and our world, accompanied by a piece of shit cop that kneeled on a mans neck for over 8 minutes and in the end,  ending that mans life. Both these things have been dividing  our country. Truthfully I've never seen it so divided. I've seen so many people show their asses, people i've always expected to be narrow minded, small, and straight up ignorant....... have floated to the top of the toilet bowl, I can see them and now they can be flushed.  You care more about a haircut or the beach being closed than a virus that could kill members of your family or the way we treat the black folks in our country. Tell me that "george floyd wasn't really a good man" or "blacks kill more blacks everyday than cops kill blacks" then tell me " cops kill more whites than blacks"........ without ever searching the population of whites to blacks, without ever thinking of a system that was designed to help keep the black race down.
   As a white man that moved to an all black neighborhood as a young man I was stopped by the cops from time to time, "are you lost" "do you need a ride home"...... No I'm good I live here. An odd look and they drove away. Now reverse that situation. I'm a black man in an all white neighborhood, the cops would pull up and I'd either end up in handcuffs, in the trunk, and/or  as we've been shown a pretty good chance i'd end up dead.
  I've seen evil in all men, all colors. The man the pointed a gun to my head was black, the bouncer the strangled me outside a bar was black, when I got jumped on the sidewalk of Oakland at 13 the boy was black........ And I think this, If there is no value put on your life, what have you got to lose? If no one really cares for you, why follow the rules. This country has shit on black folks for so long it had to pop. When i rode cross country there was no problems from people, any bar we walked in people wanted to talk, buy us beer, offer us a yard to crash in. I know that would never work that way for a group of black men. So that's my's just obvious. I hate most of all ignorance, and god damn there is a lot of it, from all races. But i'm the guy that believes if we just tried harder to even things out and try harder to help and show love the world wold become a much better place. I'm not seeking for some utopia, no one needs to take your guns, no one needs to tell a woman wether she can or can't have a baby. If you're a republican or democrat..... who fucking cares. But wake the fuck up, we have a child for a president, a bully who actually calls people names, the president of our country, calls people shitty names, racist names, shames them, and makes fun of people for being different.
 Well maybe I've done that too...... but guess what!!! I'm not president of the USA. Be a fucking example, bring us together.
    I've had a tough couple years, my bother, Jake, My Dog..... fuck it's been rough. Not comparing to others that have it so much worse, but for me, it's been a struggle. Gradually I'm losing friends too, either based on my opinions, politics, or just that they can't handle my emotions and that's a drag, it's odd that maybe they can't see how it's been and support rather than bounce off. I've always needed my space, some people are not prepared for that, I'm not a hand holder, but I'll tell you this, I'll be there for you when the chips are down, or you need an ear. Who you think I am, or what you've come up with that defines me is probably wrong. I've seen people want me to be "cooler", party harder,
or even like them more, and that's probably where it went wrong. I'm a shitty capitalist, but I'm not a fool, I see whats happening, it's all for sale, and really i don't want to be a big part of it. What have i ever asked you for?? VS. what have you shared with me? My problem is I've always put it all out there.....  and it got taken. If i'm too emotional, does that mean i just care more? I really don't know.
Maybe the sunset looks better to me, or the evening light in my shop, or Taj's smile. That's my fucking heart. I keep thinking of this line in a john Prine song it goes:
 "Wondering just exactly how 
how much more they think a man can take" 



a few years back


Farmer said...

I too look out at the world around us and can't even recognize it from when I grew up in the late 70's-early 80's. Unsettling times indeed. I feel awful at times for bringing kids into this time and space. Thank you for sharing some of your thoughts- we all can learn from each other. Hope to run into you in the linda mar beach lot sometime- Take care brother
John Brown

Bastard said...

I grew up in the 1950's..It appears that racism has been with mankind forever..And so have the idiots among us..Your observations are share by many of us. I make it thru the hard days trying to focus on this: Riding motorcycles is essential to good mental health.. But hey, that's just me.

747 said...

I sure do enjoy reading your thoughts Max. I think you set a pretty good example, weather you care too or not. Keep on keeping on and " Eat some fish to pass the time away." Cheers.

Dalton Kendrick said...

Thanks for sharing where you are at in all this. It takes great strength to be true to oneself and to be in touch with what you are feeling, let alone to share that with others. One of the hardest things I've experienced during this time is seeing how others are so closed off to considering another's perspectives. I work as a teacher, I see the hope in young people. With good information being presented to them, they reject all the garbage and want to build a better world. Seeing the relationship you have with Taj gets me hyped because I was fortunate enough to have a friend like you when I was his age. I've always appreciated your thoughts and values. Stay strong and continue to follow your heart, we all need more people like you.

Peteski said...

(I tried to edit the comment and I just deleted it? anyway) I just wanted to say it was a great read and a great way to end the day on. Glad I am not alone. Thanks.

drsprocket said...

About time Max! Peace is easy to spell, harder to find!


Thanks Max, its always good to hear your words. much love and respect

jaybird said...

You got to truly see what the black community is all about I've got a lot better idea working for the city of Oakland . I've had friends back East tell me Floyd was a shitty human and it's just reinforces why I left that place .I can't understand why someone wants to try & justify the murder of him . To be honest I even repeated and then was all jesus what's wrong with me . I think my friend who said it to me & many others can't even begin to comprehend what has happened and what's been going between cops and the black community for decades . Not sure why people even have to comment on matters when it comes to something they have never even come close to dealing with and will never deal with in their lifetime . Thanks for sharing & always a great to hear / read your words .

seanaconnolly said...

Beautifully said Max, your views & feelings are heard by many of the same like minded folks. The night is darkest just before dawn - & we are at cross roads for a better future. Keep you voice heard.

9/16"-18UNF said...

Thanks Max, for your important words. It's so good to hear a voice like yours here in Europe/Germany. For that we can see: it's not all lost. Please keep your Blog alive - so many around are standing still since years now, can't go with insta-bullshit ....
Much respect...

The Castle said...

When I feel like you do I read this Poem ( which unfortunately is more often now, than before.... )

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

Wendell Berry,

Keep safe


Rhynchocephalian said...

Sorry to hear its getting to you as well. Sadly in this "all about me" society, no lives matter. Having been called faggot by a drive for wearing a bandana over my mouth and in the same day getting blasted for not wearing a covering while on my own land as people walked by the house; the lyrics of John Lennon's working class hero come to mind. Labels of white and black are just states of mind to me now. I rather like the words multi cultural ethnicity more these days. It seems to level the playing field. People ripping down statues doesn't change history. As they say, we should get in front of it. Everybody has a skeleton. I think the words of your blog say it best; I'd like to lean into the wind and tell myself I'm free.

Ryan. said...

Right on, Max. Keep the fire going. Have faith that others think like you. I took the same solace while reading this.

Sheabones said...

Really stoked to read your writing again. Despite everything, this has been a great time to catch up on reading.

Mr Lemur said...

Amen brother.

Derek said...

My sister told me once, “if people don’t give you room to be your truest self because they can’t handle your depth or emotions, just remember that they’re the ones missing out.” These times call for people who care, for people who think and feel deeply, who are stirred by something within them that stirs them to see the big beautiful picture. It’s not easy and it hasn’t been easy. People want to keep their blinders on and being soulful, seeing the connections, even just feeling... it can all make you seem alien, or different, or too much. It can make people afraid of what they stuff down within themselves. It can be lonely as fuck. I hope you know you’re not alone in your struggles, and that your emotions are fucking valid. Loss is so complicated. Everyone deserves time to grieve and room breathe in the shadow of loss. Stay strong Max!

Louis David said...

i am just gonna put my brick here. Keep on keeping on Max !