somewhere between heaven and hell we exist… biblically, metaphoricly and in some possible way, in our own reality. I know personally i’ve walked this earth before, not in this body and most likely not in this century, most likely the past, but as far as i know i have not yet seen the future.
Life has it valleys and peaks and can change as suddenly as death. The feeling of first love compared to the knee dropping pain of losing a loved one suddenly. The human emotions that some choose to wear on their sleeves and others keep deep inside tightly corked lips afraid of the vulnerability speaking
Life has it valleys and peaks and can change as suddenly as death. The feeling of first love compared to the knee dropping pain of losing a loved one suddenly. The human emotions that some choose to wear on their sleeves and others keep deep inside tightly corked lips afraid of the vulnerability speaking
of feelings can stir.
My thoughts are mush at this moment, but mush thats flowing fast, not a clear powerful river with visible rocks below but that after a storm chocolate milk river thats pushed up earth and stone. A few drinks, and a feeling that my near sightedness is fading with everyday has made me sit and overthink everything around me. Not my socks and boxer short combo, but where and who i am. So sick of being talked at by poor story tellers and bandana clad tourists experimenting with lifestyle changes. My patience is thin, and body seems to be following suit. I keep meaning to eat, right after this ride, repair, beer, coffee, excursion, or after i write this.
North on telegraph in the top of second gear, rather than the bottom of third, on the gas solid lifters making an even ping as i steadily pass everything in sight. Not asshole style, just forward motion like a snake through tall grass. Totally lonely or totally sick of everyone is always floating between my temples. If i could of just poisoned two people at last nights dinner of eight we really could of learned a lot about each other, but unfortunately you made us suffer though a story that ended in a misfire.
North on telegraph in the top of second gear, rather than the bottom of third, on the gas solid lifters making an even ping as i steadily pass everything in sight. Not asshole style, just forward motion like a snake through tall grass. Totally lonely or totally sick of everyone is always floating between my temples. If i could of just poisoned two people at last nights dinner of eight we really could of learned a lot about each other, but unfortunately you made us suffer though a story that ended in a misfire.
Man it was noisy last night with fireworks, dogs barking, and sirens. Gov’t holiday brought yo you by the good people at MGD… light the fuse, a drawn out whistle and bang. Life. Caveman. Side show circus. But who am i to judge, I’m the monkey that puts the gasoline in the tank of his noise maker machine and makes burnt fuel shoot through the pipes. My dog gets two free meals, two walks, and his belly rubbed everyday just for keeping me grounded, I’m not sure who has the harder job me or him. When the things you love become popular you have to let go and let them break, or maybe tip over and just drain out is a better way to put it. Insta…. Instant. Haste. Why waste the haste? Put it out there. Shrink the world. Fuck we all need a pat on the back from time to time. Some of us need them constantly….. 3 times daily, and i still can’t figure out how you write with your dick jammed into your mouth.
It’s a saturday that feels like a sunday. The kind of day that would be better spent drinking, but it was too nice of a day to drink all day so you got out and go skate but that ended meaning pushing into the wind with the sun in your eyes and getting wheel bite mid slappy and launching your shoulder straight into a poorly formed dog turd….. repeating to yourself “this shirt was free and i don’t really like it anyway”, yes uptight woman with the miniature dog that’s staring at me, i’m too old for this, that is dog shit on my shoulder, and i am pretending that i’m not in pain. Carry on, by the way…. i hate your face,sweatpants, and the way you walk. Now i’ll pick myself up and convince myself that the slam just happened from all the negativity i just judged that woman with. It was an chicken before the egg proven moment. The the slam=chicken the egg=the dog walking woman. Life’s a bitch then you eat shit in front of one.
I can be positive though and write about making sweet love in a van with very few dents parked on a cliff along the highway 1 and how you tasted sweet and sour and mankind will never really understand what comes out of a woman but that part of the mystery is why the heterosexual man loves the woman. The gap between the legs and tits pointed in slightly different directions, what is inside that small make-up bag? thanks for not fucking with all these black heads on my face. Remember that time when i looked over at you and we both thought the same thing but didn’t say it. I loved that time. The last few sentences i stole from a bike builder when down south that told me last year “we’re more alike than you realize”. He’s right we both jump into our pants two legs at a time. Joking. jk. lol. ftw. 4Q
I guess soccer is going off right now. I used to play when i was young, i preferred center half back because you can run all around the field like a wild dog and get out all your pre pube angst. When i was really little i remember everyone on the field would crowd around the ball and it would just ping pong back and forth between all the players. Pure chaos, taking cleats to the shin, and elbows to the chest. Mosh pit at 8yrs old. My dad told me “stay out of there, the ball will pop out” and sure enough it did, the very first time i stood outside the swarm. Fuck, it was so much pressure, me alone with the ball and both teams starring at me. So i just kicked the ball back in the swarm, and joined the chaos, cleats to shin elbow to chest. no pressure, just pain. That’s kind of how life feels.
really digged this man, thanks for sharing your thoughts. take care
ReplyDeleteThings rarely exist in this life how we hope, though not having hope is just wasting it. Chin up, always. Smiling a shit eating grin (literal or not) is still good medicine. This was a good reminder, thanks for posting this.
ReplyDeleteThat soccer story is one of the best metaphors for life I ever heard. It's easier to jump in the chaos then stay on the outside and possibly fail in front of onlookers and worse yourself. The sooner you realize that it doesn't matter what they think and failing builds character the better off you are. Reading stuff like this is both a comfort and a wake up call. Nice knowing I'm not the only one swimming around in my own head. Rather then dwell on mistakes I've made (and there have been a lot) I constantly remind myself to move forward. Looking at the world through my daughters eyes has really changed who I am. Kids are the raddest thing going. Cry when something hurts you, smile when something makes you happy, laugh when something's funny and shit when your bellies full. If I could only live like that. Thanks for still writing in the blog, a lot if is still check it and it's so much more personal than Instagram. Keep doing what you're doing, because it's fucking working Max
ReplyDeleteWell, all things being equal, you could be a greasy Ivy League real estate lawyer fervently working on a contract addendum to a housing deal trying to evict the poor for the sole purpose of gentrifying an old neighborhood in order to line the pockets of the ultra rich.
ReplyDeleteOr, you could be a greasy bike mechanic that puffs the occasional J-Bird and goes for an evening ride.
It's all about the grease, my man.
thanks for writing this Max. I always enjoy your perspective and look forward to your new posts. its enlightening to see that while we are all different, we are alike in so many ways...
ReplyDeleteGood stuff.
ReplyDeletedon't worry man it only gets worse from here
ReplyDeleteReminds me of Jason Jesse, "I love skateboarding so much I want it to die."
ReplyDeletei hate your face, sweatpants and the way you walk... xoxo
ReplyDeleteA van with very few dents, thats pretty funny man.
ReplyDeleteenjoyed this one a lot
ReplyDeleteI really like this post
ReplyDelete.. the metaphor fits perfectly
when i played soccer as a kid the called me wrong way, i would score the point but being dislexic i would go the wrong way, i quit when i got my executioner from big 5...good words
ReplyDeletethat's fuckn life
ReplyDeleteBrought me to tears. Woke up my lady and read it to here.
ReplyDeleteHer.
ReplyDeletekeep on truckin max.
ReplyDeleteDig
ReplyDelete