....pain....

for almost as long as i
can remember i've had a skateboard.
it took till i was about 12 for
me to realize that i wanted it to
rule my life. i clearly remember
goin down my first hill, getting super
bad speed wobbles and sliding my little
body to a stop face first on the asphalt.
it was the most pain i had ever felt...
that pain where you see white noise, your
teeth clench, and you stumble to your feet
hands on knees hunched over...just buzzing
from adrenalin. starting at yer head you go
down your body evaluating the damage. if your
lucky it's something like shoulders, elbows,
palms, and knees. sometimes the worse the slam
the longer the blood takes to ooze out... you
see the white fatty meat first then the blood
creeps out. the colder the weather the worse
it is.
after that first slam i remember hosing
off the blood in the side yard and limping to the
back door. but as soon as i got in the house i
had to smooth out my strut and pretend all was
good... hide the blood and hi tail it to my room.
at night mid sleep you go to turn over in bed
and learn about oozing wounds sticking to your
sheets..like peeling off a band aid,you make it quick.
i needed the skateboard in my life and was willing
to hide its inflictions no matter what. if wounds
where ever seen by the the parental guidance units...
damage was always blamed on my bmx bike. cause at
that time every kid had one and it was not as frowned
upon as the skateboard.
and the next morning i'm on top of the hill again
wondering where it all went wrong. this time scanning
for a small patch of grass or bush or shrub shaped like
a catchers mit, knowing if it gets bad i'm gonna aim for
one of those things to soften the blow.
evrything i've ever loved causes pain at some point.
people included. i'ver heard it said:
"NOTHING COOL IS EASY"
and it's the truth.